Parents Orientation
Gia starts preschool officially in nine days. One week from today, she begins her ‘Phase-In,’ and that same night, there’s a ‘Parents Orientation.’ This is one more affirmation that I am really a parent. I wonder how many other parents at this shindig will feel as disoriented as I feel. I still haven’t come to grips with the fact that I have offspring. In my professional life, I grapple with the feeling that I’ll be discovered as some kind of impostor, that someone someday soon will wake up and realize that I know absolutely nothing. I’ve expressed this to some of my associates, and happily, they’ve laughed at me, so for now, the snow job continues. What will it be like when I’m surrounded by a bunch of other parents, at a very parent-focused event? I’ve been around parents before. I even had parents myself. What’s the story here? Why the apprehension? I don’t even have long hair any more, so there’s even less reason for people to look at me like I’m some kind of freak. Really, I’m looking forward to the experience. It’s all part of my big experiment in adulthood. I’m trying to remain very selective with it though. Wouldn’t want to be an adult all the time. What a waste of time that would be. I can see how my kids look at me when I even try. They know better, much better. They are both much wiser than I ever was.
Having a three year-old already well versed in the ways of pre-school, allow me to share some insight: don’t take this quite so seriously. Remember, after all, this is pre-school. It is bittersweet to send your child out into the world, albeit a more institutional setting than home, but remember, we’re talking about pre-school! Your daughter won’t be graded or judged harshly, but will be encouraged to act independently (in a Montessori environment), create freely & learn to socialize. Hopefully, the adult-child ratio will be low, and she will enjoy the change of scenery. As a parent (Don’t get stuck on the word. Yes, we can become them, but we need not conform to the traditional standards!!), be prepared for your first introduction to “OTHER PARENTS.” You think you are winging it? Wait. You will realize that you are probably far more stable & experienced than the lot of neurotic ones out there. Just be mindful of the serious “Type A” parents, and the kooky, offbeat ones. Have a sense of humor & trust your instincts. (FYI - Note: your daughter will probably make friends with the parents you would LEAST likely have anything in common with.)
As a conscientious dad, I also would direct you to a resource out here known as the Berkeley Parents Network:
http://parents.berkeley.edu/
While it is Bay area-specific, the advice & POVs given are universally a worthwhile read. It’s unfortunate that you are still not out on the west coast, so we can dish out the parental talk in person. I have been meaning to reach out to you for over four years now, and it is an absolute shame that I only do this now while I am bed-ridden in my last trimester of my second pregnancy. Happy 40th birthday, Keith & good luck with this parenting thing. Unbeknownst to you, you could probably pass along some good parenting advice of your own, especially on dealing with two.
Lots of love,
Sharon (Cohn)
znzmama@gmail.com
Let’s catch up!
P.S. Enjoy this photo I took of Zach & his daddy, Steve, on the Playa last year at Burning Man. See, who said that because we procreate, we have to be our own parents?
http://www.fishilens.com/friends/Burning-Man-August-2005/Blonde_daddy_Zach_in_the_desert
Also, if you feel like skimming through the rest of this photo album, see if you recognize any other Hunter alumns in my main album page:
http://www.fishilens.com/friends/Zach
(Specifically, Springtime 2006 By the Bay.)
Ahhh, you have graduated to semi-adulthood! Congratulations! Don’t worry, my husband and I look at it this way, as long as you act like the adult MOST of the time, things should be fine. If not, put yourself in time out, preferably with a good book.
It was a strange thing when my daughter first started preschool. All the parents seemed overly nice to each other whenever we dropped our kids off in the morning. It was like we all belonged to this special club or something. Now that she’s starting her second year there, I notice a change in the way the parents interact. They seem more oblivious to who’s around. It’s hard to explain.
Here via Carnival of Family Life.
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