Clearly, the Economy is turning around, judging by the influx of unsolicited e-mails and calls from far-flung “recruiters,” though in fairness, I suppose having my resume posted on every job board I can find may negate the term “unsolicited.” Inspired by a recent phone conversation with one such individual who, after speaking with me for at least a few minutes, asked, “Have you ever heard of Graphic Design?” I’ve decided to begin logging my response to some of these inquiries in a desperate attempt to uncover the answer to this burning question: “Have You Read My Resume?” I plan to log responses as well. I’ll get to the bottom of this.
So, I got this one in my inbox at 9:50 am PST Thursday, April 28, 2011 in typical form-letter style
Excerpt from Job Requirements (job is located in Chevy Chase, MD):
Proficiency in Photoshop, Notepad, Illustrator, Firebug, Web developer toolbar, CSS, HTML, Javascript and Dreamweaver is required.
My reply at 9:52am:
I’m a Notepad Expert. Unfortunately, I reside in California. Would this position cover relocation expenses?
Stay tuned…
3:02pm: Still no reply from our Notepad friend. Just received following inquiry (verbatim, including use of emphasized text, which would seem to indicate some sort of search engine was used, but I’m a little stumped with the Document Object Model of MS office reference):
Note: Here client required more advanced automation, and especially Word and PowerPoint advanced automation. We need someone who has the below skills and has worked on the Document Object Model of MS office.
Title: MS Office programmer with expertise in VB / VBA / .Net
Location: New York City, NY
Type of employment: 6+ months
No. Of. Positions: 2
Experience: 5 – 8 Yrs
Job Description:
· Experienced in VB/VBA/.NET
· Have strong expertise in Office automation skills (Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Outlook and Access)
· Experience in MS Office functionality
· Experience in building queries
This candidate will be responsible for project such as:
Creating addins/tools to integrate with MS Office
Build/enhance applications to interact with other RAD tools
Support modifications to new and existing RAD deliverables
QTool – used by GCFO to audit/report workloads
CLE/GCRM Expense – update tool used to calculate GCRM expenses
GCFO CFO Reporting
F&BM RAD projects
Thanks & Regards…
My response:
Document Object Model of MS office is my specialty for 10 yrs. I assume relocation expenses will be covered. I can begin immediately. Please advise me where to report.
Who knows. Maybe next week at this time I’ll be up to my ears in CLE/GCRM Expense and GCFO CFO Reporting. One can only hope.
3:14pm: Received following response:
Could you please send me your updated resume along with Contact details?
Thanks & Regards…
Done, and done! GCFO CFO Reporting here I come. I can’t wait. That QTool sounds like a load of laughs.
More waiting ensues.