Entries Tagged as 'Motivation'

How to Learn to Write and Achieve Greater Success

I came across a good article here on improving speaking skills. It struck a chord with me, partly because I’m plagued by some people who have awful presentation skills. If I hear one more “you know,” they might have to cart me away in a straitjacket.

The article does, however, resonate with me primarily because it reminds me of my days as a writing tutor at the local community college. After I graduated with my B.A. in English, I managed to get this part-time gig in the ‘Writing Center.’ That’s the place they sent students who couldn’t write. By the time they showed up, the Writing Center was about the last place any of them wanted to be. They were utterly convinced that writing was not something they could ever do. I knew that was nonsense. One student in particular, this nice Israeli kid, couldn’t even get graded. I read some samples, and I could see why. His writing barely sounded like a first grade English primer. He could, however, talk. Boy, could he ever talk. He was, in fact, very eloquent. He had a thick accent, but he spoke better English than most Americans. I told him to go home and record himself talking, preferably about the subject the professor was instructing him to write about, then simply transcribe his own words. Shortly thereafter, he received an A.

The solution seemed so simple. Perhaps it was because I had done quite a bit of recording as a musician, so the concept came naturally to me. The bottom line was that it worked. I witnessed someone go from being ungradable to getting straight A’s (in writing, at least).

To this day, it amazes me when people who are perfectly capable of carrying on a conversation insist that they cannot write. Somewhere along the line, they lost the ability to make the connection between speaking and writing. I’ve read that the same can be said for people who, like myself, claim they cannot draw. They haven’t made the connection between drawing and seeing. I’m still working on that one. Whatever the case may be, writing is a crucial skill. It gets respect. People acknowledge it. It’s what got me through college without having to study very hard, especially when it came to subjects I had little or no interest in. The fact that I was able to put sentences together apparently made all the difference to my professors, including my English professors. I always had a really hard time with assigned reading. I read plenty, but never what I was told to read. I’d read some of the Cliff’s Notes, write a paper on whatever book, get a good grade, then go to the library and take out something that actually interested me. Point is, good writing even fooled my English teachers. That should tell you something. If you can speak and write well, people assume you know what you’re talking about. They want to believe that, so they will believe that, until you do something drastic to prove them wrong. Even then, they might still refuse to believe any differently. The odds are in your favor if you take the time to develop your writing skills. If you can speak, you’re already almost there.

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Bloat

This is what it generally looks like in front of me while I’m working.

My Office Desk Panography

Very exciting. Two monitors. That tends to freak people out. They get dizzy when I start moving things from one monitor to the other. It can be pretty amusing. It’s also a good way to get rid of people I don’t want hovering over my shoulder. It amazes me how most people can’t comprehend the usefulness of having the dual monitor setup. I think most people are comfortable doing the minimum amount of work (there’s that ‘work’ word again) possible. I think they’re comfortable afflicting themselves with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome as well, considering how few people use an ergonomic keyboard these days. I’d be a cripple by now if I hadn’t been using one all these years. I really want to learn the Dvorak Keyboard Layout. Turns out we’re all using an antiquated keyboard layout, one that was intentionally designed to slow us down back in the days when typewriters had all sorts of mechanical stuff going on which wouldn’t work right if you typed too fast.

On the plus side, it is Friday. I’m sitting here trying to digest the liter and a half of water I just drank too fast. It hurts. I’m hoping the bloat subsides within the next hour so I can move towards the door. I might just have to float myself out of here.

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Business

Still busy. Maybe the word ‘business’ is partly to blame. It’s blatantly saying “be busy.” Is that really a necessity? Progress is made when people actually have time to reflect on their current situation, then formulate ways to improve things. When we say we’re really busy, all too often we’re saying that we’re working too hard, or too much. Are we accomplishing anything other than paying bills (hopefully)? Are we securing any sort of future other than one in which we continue to participate in the vicious cycle of working somewhere we’re not happy in order to barely make ends meet? Enough of this work and business nonsense. I believe that in order to be truly succesful, you need to enjoy what you’re doing. If you enjoy what you’re doing, it ceases to be work. So, being successful means you run around with a moronic smile on your face all the time, but it’s a genuine smile, because you really are happy and enjoying yourself. That’s bound to piss a lot of people off. I know how I feel when I see someone running around with a moronic smile. I say, “What a moron.” I tend towards thinking that the one thing preventing me from running around smiling all the time is my ability to think. A nice elective lobotomy could be just the thing for that. Alcohol certainly helps, but it wears off. At least with a lobotomy, I could very well wake up in the morning smiling. That would be a first. I’ve never been much of a morning person. I probably wouldn’t do much writing if I had a lobotomy, and I probably wouldn’t be very interested in computer stuff. I wouldn’t be of much use at my job anymore. Nikki would probably miss some of our conversations, but then again, she’s pretty good at holding conversations with the kids, so I should still fit in just fine. It wouldn’t be safe to allow me to drive anymore, so I’d have to be chauffered around. As I prepare to embark on my hour commute home, this concept sounds better by the minute.

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Busy

Too busy. If I can’t make or find time for a blog entry, that’s too busy. I’ve resolved to be consistent with my writing, and I’ve been doing OK, but still I’ve been missing days. If I’m that busy, so busy that I can’t even write a few lines, there’s a deeper issue. That means I don’t even have time to think. I’m multitasking myself out of the picture. It’s the ‘constant partial inattention,’ or ‘attention,’ depending on whether you’re of the ‘glass is half full or half empty’ variety. I can actually sense this state of partial attention. It’s like skimming over everything around me, people, conversations, projects, whatever I happen to be looking at is on the way to looking at something else, and when I get to the next thing, I’m already moving on. It’s too easy to allow this to be the norm. It might be exhausting, but I can’t sit still long enough to acknowledge that. This definitely feels like working harder, not smarter. Change is coming. I’ll make it happen, even if my impatient nature forces me to believe it’s not happening fast enough. It’s all a means to an end.

Looks like the heatwave is over. It culminated in a series of thunderstorms last night. I wanted to drive down to the beach to watch the fireworks, but it was late and we needed sleep. You could tell that’s where the action was, just beyond the tree line over the horizon. Gia woke up, but not for long. I’m glad about that. Thunderstorms used to scare the hell out of me when I was a kid. She’s much more resilient than I ever was. She says she gets scared about some things, but we can’t figure out what those things are. She’ll be watching Sesame Street, then out of nowhere, she’ll be standing in the hallway, saying “SKAY-UHHD.” Could be she’s just looking for attention, though I have to say, Sesame Street can be terrifying at times.

I think I really like this panography thing, so I decided to give it a try. Here’s a taste of what it looks like behind me while I’m working…

My Office Panography

Note the hanging suit jacket. I needed a jacket once while I was at work, and I heard somewhere that it’s a good idea to have one handy, so there it is. That was almost three years ago, and I haven’t needed it since. It’s a nice conversation piece.

I have a nicer jacket hanging in the back of my car. My father-in-law said it’s a must if you’re in real estate. You never know when one of those deals might spring up. I think he travels with multiple cleaned-and-pressed suits in the back of his vehicle. I haven’t advanced that far yet.

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Another Friday

It’s yet another Friday. This one finds us at the front end of a heatwave, supposedly. It’s pretty steamy out there right now, at least here at work. I hear the beaches are contaminated. All the rain we had caused some waste runoff. Yet another one of the disadvantages to not living somewhere like, say, Bermuda, not that I’ve ever been there, so I can’t say for sure. I’ll be spending all day tomorrow in my New Agent Orientation class. It’s a requirement for LIBOR membership, which is the local board of realtors. I’m hoping to find out exactly what this all means for me tomorrow. I’m hoping to find out something, anything, to justify my spending all day on a Saturday in some class somewhere I don’t want to be. Plenty of things I’d rather be doing, especially after an extremely busy week at work. I should remind myself that some people actually do this real estate thing full time.

I’m finishing up my water before hitting the road. The metallic taste is still lingering. It’s annoying, but bearable. It might be time to mix things up a bit and start incorporating some iced tea into the agenda.

My home computer is acting up. I had a triple-boot configuration going. I think it proved to be just a little too much at one time. I discussed the situation with my techie friends at work, and they were scratching their heads. I have a way of making them do that. Somehow, I manage to discover new and exciting ways to make computers stop working. At least, I do that to my home computer. I’m pretty good at keeping my computer at work up and running despite endless adversity. The problem is, my home computer is the one I really care about. I’ll obsess over it until I fix it. Until then, it becomes a Zen exercise for me not to allow it to interfere with my life. I didn’t lose sleep over it last night, so there is progress being made. I’m pretty sure I have a corrupt Master Boot Record. Story of my life.

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More Water

The water imbibing continues. My second liter and a half is sitting here, next to my assorted salad and hard boiled egg. Again, only two cups of coffee today instead of the usual three, and I’m buzzing as if I’ve had six cups, although definitely not quite as jittery. The whole morning was non-stop crazy busy, so it could be I’m amped up from doing so many things simultaneously, but I do think I’m noticing a difference. The metallic taste was back, but this salad is helping. I’m envisioning moving to some kind of herbal tea habit, though I’m not sure what kind yet. So many options.

Nikki’s dad is in town. He checked the spot where Gia ripped the soapdish out of the wall last week. We have it patched up with plastic garbage bags and duct tape. Nikki did a fabulous job of making it look slightly less ghetto than it really is. At least we can still use the shower. Apparently, we’re looking at a bigger job than we’d hoped, somewhere in the neighborhood of a grand. That means it’ll probably cost much more. Good thing I don’t have the money right now, otherwise it would be gone, down the drain along with the little winged ants we have to wash away every morning. There are some roof issues as well. We knew that there was something going on, but it’s great to have someone point it out definitively so you can feel that much more neglectful as you let the time slip by. At least the house isn’t going to cave in. Maybe that will be the next phone call.

Ava’s trying to stand up. Last week, she just started crawling. Next week, I predict she will launch herself to some distant planet. We’ll miss her.

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Water

I’ve embarked on a water-drinking quest. I’ve spent years disregarding all that advice to drink x glasses of water a day, because that’s just the right thing to do, mainly because it’s got no taste, and I’m lazy. I like to taste the things I’m eating and drinking, except for whiskey, which is easy enough to make exception for. A couple of shots and who cares about the taste anymore? I’m easing off on that, as well.

The water adventure has been a long time in coming. I’ve known I needed to address the fact that I’m pushing 40, and I’d really like to be around and in shape enough to keep up with and enjoy my family. This includes being present for them emotionally as well as physically. Nikki’s talked about all sorts of cleanses, which are much more popular on the west coast than they are here, but I don’t think I’m quite ready to take that kind of plunge. Easy does it. I drink coffee, I’m easing off on the alcohol, and I figure I can start with water. After coming off the July 4th vacation, if you can call it a vacation, actually it was only a couple of extra days off from work, my exhaustion and resulting stress levels were way up there. Clearly my stamina ain’t what it used to be.

So some time around last Thursday, I started drinking the old H20. Previously, I’d drink maybe a pint a day. Now, I’m downing 7-8 pints or so.

The first night, there was cold sweat and crazy dreams. Second night, much of the same. There was an ongoing metallic taste. The cold sweat finally subsided, as did the metallic taste, but the dreams are still there. I’m thinking this is due to toxins being released. Great. If this is what cleansing is like, I’m terrified. There’s only so much dreaming of doomsday I can handle. At least I’m able to sleep. I feel pretty good right now, and the past two days, I’ve only had two cups of coffee per day, as opposed to my usual three cups. I have a 1.5 liter of Poland Spring sitting next to me, half finished. My eyes aren’t quite as bloodshot as they were yesterday. Maybe that’s just allergies or something, but I was really waiting for someone to ask me what I was smoking. No one did.

We’ve been stepping up our salad consumption as well. Over the weekend, we took a drive east to explore some of the farmland not far from where we live. It’s beautiful out there, Sound Ave. in Calverton. We stopped at Foster Farms, a little farm stand selling corn and produce, and picked up some Romaine lettuce and sweet corn. Last night, it was dinner time. We cooked up the 2 lbs. of organic salmon we had brining in the fridge for the past day, mixed the fresh Romaine with some organic herb salad, and of course, a couple of ears of the sweet corn.

I haven’t tasted corn like that in, well, I can’t remember how long it’s been. It’s corn like that makes me never want to leave Long Island. Or, maybe, it was the wine, or maybe I’m just drunk on all this water.

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Next Thursday

Took Friday off. Had four generations of family (in-laws) in town over the July 4th weekend, which was phenomenal, though we were all physically exhausted when it was over, so much so that I called in and took the day off yesterday. I would have been worthless anyway. Unfortunately, this led to an hour-and-a-half long anxiety attack while I sat in traffic this morning. I’m shot.

I haven’t had anxiety like that in a while. I think it was mainly due to an overdose of family stimulation. I’m used to my family at home, but I’m not used to having the extended family around. It’s been ages since I’ve been exposed to that. I miss it, but it’s exhausting.

Yesterday evening, Nikki remarked that I hadn’t touched my computer hardly at all over the weekend, no video games, nothing. Fact is, I could barely move yesterday. A friend of ours that we ran into during the festivities, someone we haven’t seen in a while, greeted me by patting my stomach. This threw me into a downward spiral of self-loathing that culminated yesterday, or probably this morning. I’m starting to snap out of it. The coffee helped. This would have been the wrong time to quit that stuff. As it is, it took me five hours to dig out from the accumulated e-mails. E-mail can really suck. If it weren’t for the caffeine, I’d be here til next Thursday.

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Thursday

We got ants. Little ones.

First it was termites, so we called in on our termite warranty and had the man come out. He drilled holes around the foundation, sprayed something in there, then filled the holes back up. He told Nikki all about subterranean termites vs. swarmers. The swarmers are the ones you see flying around. They’re the ones that were squeezing themselves through the shower tiles. They get food from their underground counterparts. The treatment is supposed to cut the swarmers off from their brothers down there, so they’d eventually starve to death. The Man also informed us that we should expect to see them “coming out,” maybe for months. This was very comforting.

We called Orkin to come out a few weeks ago. Something about this bug situation seems really out of hand. We’re not too into the bugs to begin with, but we both agree that something seems off. I think the bugs are pissed. I think nature wants humans dead. The bugs are looking at us like their enemies, and they all want to kill us, from the inchworms to the spiders. I really can’t deal with spiders.

The Orkin Man said we should expect to see whatever bugs there are continue to “come out,” for an indefinite period. Clearly, no one knows how to get rid of these things. It’s 2006, and we know how to nuke an entire country, but we haven’t figured out how to get insects off your property. We’ll pay people good money to come out and spray chemicals around, and they’ll essentially tell you to your face that they’re really not doing much of anything. It’s like hitting the button at the traffic light, the button that’s really not connected to anything, but it gives you something to do while you wait.

Maybe I’ll start a placebo company. Why whitewash it? We’ll sell things that don’t do anything, and we’ll be completely honest about it. I can build all sorts of contraptions. I’ve always wanted to build a computer pull-start. That would actually do something, so maybe we couldn’t sell it at the placebo company. The device would connect to the power supply, and you’d have to literally pull-start your computer. It would require at least 70 lbs. per square inch of pressure and three-plus pulls to get it going, and it would make an insane amount of noise. The cost of the device: $199.99 plus local sales tax. For an additional fee of $300 per hour of labor (with a two hour minimum), we’ll install it for you.

So I ran out to the store and bought a can of Raid the minute we discovered the ants under the kitchen table. I sprayed ‘em, then vacuumed them up with the insanely loud hand vacuum my father-in-law swears by. Supposedly he has two of them. This thing’s got some major torque with a gyroscope or something inside, so that when you turn it on, it literally tries to rip your arm out of its socket. It makes Ava cry hysterically. It makes me cry hysterically, but I cry on the inside. Need to be strong for the kids. A few minutes later, ants are crawling out the back of the vacuum. At first we thought they were after food remnants, considering where they were, but we also found them in the bathroom. They came back yesterday.

I know they’re related to the termites. They’re not-too-distant cousins, I’m sure of it. They’re all related, and they all want to kill us.

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Wednesday

Here it is, Hump Day. Rained all night last night into this morning. Gia crawled into bed with us at some point. We woke up and she was standing outside the half-closed bedroom door, so we told her she could come in. She was half asleep. Silently, she came in, crawled up next to me and went to sleep. It wasn’t too hot, but it was kind of sticky, which didn’t make for a restful night of sleep for us. This all bled into a hellish commute in bumper-to-bumper traffic pretty much the whole way.

It’ll be a short week at least. Family coming in over the Fourth of July. I’m looking forward to a nice, long, extended weekend with lots of laughing, great food, and, of course, the wine. I’ll be raiding Fairway tomorrow for sure.

I’m feeling like I haven’t spent enough time with Gia in particular. She had a rough one last night, which is probably why she got lonely. I usually spend more time with her when I get home, before putting her to bed. I realize she needs not to be overly dependent on this routine, but it’s difficult to pull myself away. I miss her, and the more she develops her communication skills, the worse it’s getting. I can hear my friend at work laughing at me right now. I’m just a big sucker.

Just brought some food back from the sneaky Mexican joint. She said the Enchiladas do not come with sour cream or guacamole. Sure enough, after already eating a few bites, I discovered some sour cream on those suckers. I hate sour cream. So much for my lunch. I’ll be taking the rest home.

This is kind of a home stretch. Nikki and I are planning on embarking on some dietary adjustments some time after our long weekend. I’m not sure what these adjustments are going to look like yet, but they’ll be healthy adjustments, whatever they are. I heard Jack LaLanne on the Jay Thomas Show this morning. He called in with his wife. He’s 91, and he sounds great. He’s selling some “Power Juicer” which looks kind of cool (there’s a picture of it on Amazon). We already have a juicer, but with this one, supposedly you can juice the entire fruit rather than having to cut it up. Sounds pretty convenient. Mixed reviews for it, though. Anyway, I hope to make it to 91, and I hope to sound as good as he does. I have a ways to go. I’m sure he can kick my ass right now. It’s time to turn that around. No time like the present. I’m about to turn 40 in less than two months. I’m feeling pretty good these days. Something about having children feels like it’s revitalizing me. Maybe it’s being forced to look at things from a child’s perspective, something I really haven’t done in a few decades, or maybe it’s the push-ups (or “fuff-upps”) Gia forces me to do with her. She’s getting to be quite the tyrant. She makes a great laughing barbell.

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